Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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