I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
