Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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