we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
