I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize