you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
