he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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