well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
