i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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