I just threw up on my dentist
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
