I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
