That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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