why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
