Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We just shotgunned beers for America
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
