you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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