Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
