I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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