Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize