we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
