i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
