Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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