so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
