I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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