So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
