Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
