Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Be still, my beating vagina.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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