So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
