i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize