She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
