Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hippo gnu deer
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
His nipple licking is glorious
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
