i wish semen tasted like chocolate
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
