Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
