If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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