if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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