i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
