No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
