I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
