Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
