That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have aggressive nipples.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
