Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
