This girl is more easily done than said...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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