they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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