You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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