You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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