Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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