Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize