So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize