It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i barfeds in our rink
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
