At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Couch. On fire.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
