ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
