dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize