and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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