I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
