she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
