Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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