So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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