why didn't you poke me back
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
