Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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