i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
