Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im six kinds of drunk right now
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize