sarcasm needs its own font
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
