I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
