I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
