be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
