Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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