i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
